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Aaram karnay kay Sunehri Asool (Title suggested by Issma Haider)

  1. Remember to thank the friend who baby sat your toddler for four hours the day before. She is an angel. Make sure you’re always good to her since you’ll be needing her again.
  2. Have a generator in the house, because the one morning you decide to stay at home, the electricity will let you down.
  3. Remember to charge the laptop the night before so you have something to do when the light and cable disappoint you.
  4. Do not let the maid go on leave … if you do, suffer the consequences.
  5. If husband tries to help, do not be a hero and try to take care of HIM. Let him take care of you.
  6. If you, like me, don’t adhere to point 5, remember to call him when you get dizzy and before you fall.
  7. DO NOT SLIP AND FALL. When you fall, ensure you create enough noise so he can rush over to you.
  8. Re-read point 5. and this time stick to it.
  9. Do not wait for husband to bring you lunch till 4pm. Remember he is not on leave, but actually working from home. Again, re-read point 5 and simply eat an apple till he is free.
  10. Eat. Buy K&Ns Deli line. Make everyone’s life easy.
  11. Contact mother to make food for baby and husband. Thank mother profusely. Swear again not to take her for granted.
  12. Spend hours wondering why you can only eat and digest certain things and not what mommy is making for hubby. Curse nature.
  13. Be aware of what is happening outside the room. Chatting with the daughter enabling her to avoid Qari sahib is not good. Realize she is smarter than you are.
  14. Do not regret missing the Committee party and whine about lack of social life, especially to husband. He’s not having too much fun either.
  15. Do not worry about the little one’s math test tomorrow. Two hours spent yesterday on the English test did not help you at all, even if she got a star! Do NOT try to be a super mom.
  16. Repeat: Do not try to be Super Mom. Admit defeat! Open Maths book.
  17. Call husband when patience and back runs out.
  18. Realize he is still working. Continue with the maths.
  19. Do not talk to boss on sick leave and while on bed rest. He will think you are fine and may assign work. If he does, you asked for it!
  20. If you actually miss your boss and team, you’re a bigger loser than they are. Get a life. Get cable. Buy some nice videos. DO NOT CALL WORK!
  21. Steaks are the easiest to cook, as is chicken. Decide to make steak.
  22. Realize daughter wants something with gravy. Make something kiddie for her urgently.
  23. Realize husband wants something with gravy too. Return to kitchen.
  24. Return to bed with dizziness.
  25. Seek husband’s help in frying. Hear him whine endlessly about the futility of cooking.
  26. Take over from him. Continue to hear him hypothesize how the process of cooking is the core of all evil and domestic disputes.
  27. Eat food.
  28. Blog about your day.
  29. Collapse!
  30. Repeat for next two days or until required. (try to avoid falling on the floor or in the homework trap).
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